Hey guys, we have a new blog. We’re going to be at www.professionalpickup.com
I’m not going to remove this blog, but I won’t be posting any new information here. Just visit me and the guys at ProfessionalPickup.com We’re having everything from Approach, to Body Language, to Closing, to D2’s, Inner Game, and pickup information.
Thanks!
Deline
Hey guys, I’ve been MIA working on a new project. We’re going to bring to the PUA industry a new style of PUA development. Yes, I’m getting into the business of change. We’re working on a transformation program that I’m very excited about.
As soon as we get our company site together we’ll be writing in detail what it is that we do, and how we differ from your conventional weekend bootcamp. Those are good for getting a firehose of information thrown at you, in otherwords, getting you up to speed with what’s going on. But they’re not so good in establishing the life long habits you want to change your life.
That takes more than a weekend.
We are in “Beta” mode, already working with a select group of guy’s. Things have been going very good, and very fast. We are deciding whether we have another round “on us” before we open up the seats.
More soon…
Deline
Surprising to some, in pickup artist world, there’s orders of magnitude more discussions about inner game (things happening in your mind, how you perceive yourself and the situations around you), than there is about how to actually pickup chicks. More so lately I sense, than ever before.
Why is that? Probably due to the popularity of The Game and the Pickup Artist, it has brought this into more mainstream light and attracted guys to give this stuff a look, same guys that would have never done so on their own before, when the PUA game was more “underground” and hidden.
In large part, really good PUAs know that what you think of yourself, is going to largly affect how women perceive you. Women tend to follow, or rather feel, what guys think.
And many of the guys that ask for my help and so forth, are obviously guys that have had trouble in the past with women. Quite significant amount of them tend to be incredible intelligent guys that are very logical, very goal oriented, and very cynical, well beyond simply being skeptical.
These guys don’t come to the PUA world with open mindset, to try giving it a health chance. They come with a critical mindset first, and if it makes sufficient sense, more so, if they can fit it into their perceptions of the greater world, they give it a shot.
They question everything down to the minutea, and they don’t believe it unless they see it themselves. While I think its good to be skeptical, it’s not so good to be cynical. Cynical is a drag, it’s negativity for the sake of perceiving what is right. As most things in life, you can dichotomies exist all around us. In fact, in many ways, life IS one gigant absurdity, and it’s a collective percieved acceptance that makes life somewhat workable.
But I don’t want to get to existentialist. The point is this… focus on positive, and life will become more positive. If you focus on the negative shit, life WILL become more negative.
There’s all kinds of books that make great leaps to the point that you can “manifest” things into being. The Power of Now, The Secret, etc. are all extending the basic concept that what you focus on, is what you’re going get back from you life.
It’s so simple, that for the greatest of cynics out there, this seems impossible, absurd, whatever. Life is too real for some of you cynics to make these mumbojumbo leaps of faith. But there’s nothing magical about it.
How you present yourself to life, is how life will reward or punish you for it.
Think of it this way…
If I go around bitching about everything. People around me that interact with me, will get to know me a tireless cynic. I will feel like I’m doing life a great thing by upending things around me, finding the minutia to bitch about, the more I look, it seems the more there is of it.
It makes me feel smart, empowered and validated for having I sleuthed out all blemishes and imperfections from people, things, efforts… as if someone was trying to hide them. I do this with to everyone around me.
Guess what happens…
Everyone around me starts to realize that all I do is complain and point out the errors of their ways… so they start to back away. Hiding genuine efforts from me, for the fear of being critisied mercilessly by me… which only feeds my thinking that I need to be ever more vigilante to people “hiding” things from me.. because they are.
I get further paranoid, I never let up, I end up alienating a great deal of people from my life, creating an ever lonier existance.
THAT SUCKS!!!
It’s a loop… the more one bitches, the more people will mistreat me, the more I feel like bitching is the only way to get respect.
Same works for people that are very needy. The needier they are, the more they alienate people, the more they become needier.
Stop the loop! Change how you think, and life will change around you.
So back to women and pickup. If you approach women with a cynical mindset, they will sense your negativity and propel you away. Negativity, in the from of cynicism is a big weakness. It sends the signal that you are a man that is beholden to larger forces around you, not nearly as strong as a man that understands the forces around him, choses when to exert his influences on them or ignores those all together, especially those that don’t matter to him. Those guys, have a rock solid core, and they’re usually very, happy about themselves.
That’s not to stick our heads in the sand, quite on the contrary, it’s all about acknowledging things for the way they are, ignoring in large part all the inconsequential shit, and standing up for the important shit, when it matters… and never losing your emotional control, in between.
Staying positive in the face of adversity is not easy to do. Not even the best of the best PUAs can do this all the time, but that’s what it’s about. It’s about stepping up and staying positive when challenged, and looking for the good in things and people, and disregarding the negativity for what it is, largely useless noise.
Work on your inner game, and the rest will more easily fall into place.
I have an idea about AA for guys that have been at this for a while and still have a problem with it.
Two things I noticed..
I’ve noticed that even the guys that have the most trouble with opening, will occasionally get it right. Only problem it almost seems accidental to them because they can’t seem to recognize how easy it was. But theres one thing that’s obvious to those that are opening machines… the fear is only momentary, because once you’re engaged, the fear totally disappears. And that’s exactly why it’s so ellusive to those with bad AA.
But it’s simply like getting a shot in your arm, its over before you know it and the fear is largely imagined. Having a predefined opener or not has no impact on this. But getting into a talkative, playful state, does. You just got to get engaged.
And, getting introduced by your friend takes the pressure off, so to speak, but keep in mind that technically… you ARE opening. Why is that any easier than just saying hello to someone standing across the room? The answer is it’s all imagined bullshit. There is none.
The second thing I noticed, and this is where I think having a canned opener can actually inhibit progress towards removing AA, is on what happens just before approaching. We all know it, the more you wait, the bigger the feeling of fear. Thus having canned material, may help some guys, in that it becomes one less thing you have to “think about”, but it doesn’t seem to resolve the problem, becuase there’s no generic enough of an opener, other than maybe “hello” could make sense in all situations.
Worse, even if they’re following the 3 second rule with a canned opener, they could be rehearsing the fucking line ever since got into the place, walking around the bar or club looking for that “perfect” girl that isn’t too scary to try this on her. Even when they do find a semi-ok chick, they’ll hold back to see if she’s at the right part of the bar, or whether she’s with someone or not… none which is needed or helpful thinking, and all of it causing the same effect of building up anxiety.
So then finally the fuckin’ moment, and instead of delivering it from a calm, chill, semi-interested, semi-playful tone… it comes out like a burst of over the top energy. They put SO MUCH effort into it and it shows, like a glaring red flag of desperation…
Not cool, at all. What girl would be into that? Totally needy, even with the best of intentions.
Then it becomes a typical procession of these guys questioning what went wrong. Maybe they think they didn’t peacock enough, or maybe too much, or maybe they need more social proof, or search for a more perfect opener, maybe direct, maybe indirect… on and on.
They see successes in others they know, they don’t feel like they’re part of that, and they start to backwards rationalize… eventually leading to blaming friends, gurus and coaches, or the community as a whole for misleading them and call it all a farce in bitterness.
The biggest forums are littered with threads of former wanna-be’s doing this, it’s nothing new.
Guys, stop fuckin’ think so much, and just go out with the intention of talking to new people and having fun. You’re only question, taken from RSD’s Tim should be, how can I make this fun? That’s it. Go with that, the second you get an impulse to say something… say IT.
“Does Size Really Matter?” One Date Wonder asks
I really like this blog, has an interesting readership and a writer that doesn’t hold punches. She asked about height, and I responded. Fellas, it doesn’t matter, not as much as you think it does.
In fact, the only way to make it really matter… make it a real issue… is if YOU think it’s real issue/problem. If you think it is, I assure you, they will too.
As a friend recently said, “they feel what you think”. So think positively, seriously.. no joke. Think positively.
More on that later.
This is a quick and short FR cause I don’t like writing FRs all that often unless there’s something remarkable to write about. Tonight, my business partner and I went to a tech conference near Gallery Place. Sold out, 1200 technology business people attended.
Wtf does that have to do with pickup? A LOT.
Let me say this… if you practice pickup… the skills you learn doing THAT, makes handling these kinds of events a piece of cake. It is SOOO easy to go into an event like this and successfully meet and connect with people.
These kinds of events, especially of this size and nature, are charged with energy AND tension. You don’t want to go in there with slouched over, debby downer, attitude. You want to contribute to the energy with a confident vibe. You want to be taken seriously, and you represent yourself and co-workers/company in the best light possible.
I got into state by getting hyped up for it before I even let my apartment. Just like a sarge, I had focused objective of quickly connecting with people and working the crowd. I was very direct. I opened sets that walked by and I walked into sets that were standing around.
I would stick my hand right out, say hello and ask what they did and who they were with. By getting them to talk first, I could then get a sense of what they were about, and adjust my own “elevator speech” about our company accordingly. Not everyone I met would have direct need for our services, but I definitely tuned in to what they did, which allowed me to make several introductions between strangers because I paid attention.
And yes, surprisingly in a room full of professionals, a lot of people were “chode crystals”. Even folks in PR and marketing… in the BUSINESS of networking company’s message, I saw that some were struggling to simply step into a set and get going.
Here’s a few openers I used…
“Hi, what do you do?”
“Hi, I know I am interrupting, my apologies, but I saw you two talking
for a while and I wanted to say hello, what do you guys do?”
“Hello, what does uh <read company’s nametag> do?”
“Hey, PBS! I want get an interview, it’s my dream to be on PBS… Jim,
Big Bird, I don’t who interviews me, just get me on PBS.”
Terrible openers right? Wrong. They’re calbirated for the social function. Guess what else… I talked to mostly chicks. YES, that’s why this FR is in here and not “off topic”.
I opened, gamed, and networked with women in my field. And YES, believe it or not, tech conferences these days have lots of good looking, intelligent, professional women… the reason behind it is that there have been technological advances in the last 2 to 5 years that have changed how people do market online. So let’s just say, the PR girls were out in full force.
You don’t believe me? Come on out. Oh did I mention it was open bar event? And..oh yeah.. admission was free? So do the math fellas…
I walked out with pocket full of business cards and majority with names like Nicole, Amy, Nina…etc. Not a dime was spent on my part.
The Game can be played anywhere guys. Especially these kinds of networking events, it’s expected to come up and talk to complete strangers. So why not start with the hottest women there? There was zero excuse for not walking up and getting a discussion going.
THERE IS NO AA. Most of these people were simply relieved that I just stepped up and started the conversation for them, and got it comfortably flowing. That’s what everyone is there to do! So you can straight up ask HB9.5 what does she do and she’s going to give an energetic direct response.
So for the reason of improving your personal social skills, AND improving your professional lives…and for those of you just starting your professional careers… you’ve GOT to go to events like these.
You may want to tone down the peacocking a bit… or then again, maybe not.
D
I was doing some twitter surfing and I found some blogs on dating written by women. Holy crap, I didn’t realize how needy/pathetic some of these guys are out there. Fellas… common! Be persistent, don’t be needy. Jane Wonder’s blog has a story about some dude that can’t take a no for an answer. He’s been trying for over a year to get her to go out again, after 1freaking date! Some reader of her’s shared a story about a dude that’s send email begging her to go out with him. Begging!
Guys, this is how I’m persistent…
D: “Hey, Jane, I’m going to Marvin’s, meet me there”
J: “Can’t, studying.”
D: “NP”
D: “Yo, J, I’m ESL with friends, it’s rocking, come out”
J: “Too tired.”
D: “Life is short! Sleep when your dead.”
D: “Walking my dog in 30 minutes, need help picking up his poo, come out”
J: “Yeah right D, I just got manicure and I’m wearing white, no way”
D: “Damn, Rufus is going to be disappointed”
D: “hey, need stock up my fridge, come with”
J: “Uhm… okay”
This is being needy…
AFC: “I would like to take you out to dinner, I know this new restaurant, what time will be available so I can make reservations?”
J: “Busy this week.”
AFC: “Okay, how about next week are you busy next week?”
J: “Yes, very busy.”
AFC: “Lets go to a movie Friday night, do you have any you want to catch?”
J: “I’m busy, going away this weekend.”
AFC: “Oh.”
AFC: “I know you and I are perfect for each other, let’s go out this weekend to get to know each other better!”
J: “What’s your name again?”
AFC: “AFC…”
AFC: “My father, Senator so and so, has requested your presense at our family dinner, would you do me the honor of attending as my date?”
J: “… uh..I guess so”
<hours later after dinner>
AFC: “My family loved you! We have to do this again. You were ravishing. I want to see you again. I know I should have kissed you, but I got nervous. That was the best date I ever had.. I think .. I’m falling for you.”
J: “I feel sick, barf.”
Fellas, do YOUR THING. You do things and offer the opportunity for chicks to tag along. If you don’t have lifestyle that lends itself to… then go get one, DUH. Give them an “out”. Drinks, a walk around the park, a quick coffee, drop the time consuming shit like expensive, protracted dinners. If you get flaked on, then at least your in a place, doing something you would ordinairly do. No big deal.
But if you make an all out shitshow of an effort for some chick you barely know, and you get flaked on, or she runs away faster than you can ask for the check… that’s YOUR fault. No one respects an ass kisser, and effectively that’s what you’re doing when you’re lavishing too much effort and $ on someone you barely know.
Ask a girl to join you … two or three times max in my opinion. There’s just too many fish in the sea to drag someone kicking and screaming.
Stay cool and have FUN. If you’re not having fun, it’s not a date… its a waste of time. Call it off early and move on.
Having a properly vetted, trained, wing, is $$$… and having a poor idoit wing.. is a dreadful waste of time. No one needs a wing, but it can improve your odds tremendously just playing the situations properly.
You walk back from the bathroom and you see me talking to a chick one-on-one, no girlfriends or anyone else insight. What do you do?
Guys, if you see me talking to some girl one on one… I don’t need your help! Thank you motherfucker, its thought that counts, keep walking. A pat on my shoulder, a quick what’s up and keep rolling is a nice touch. That’s it. Beat it. Go find your own chick.
Wait, there’s a couple of her girlfriends running up, looks like they want to leave becuase they’re bored and whining.
If there’s a group or a couple of obstacles floating around… then YES! HELP. Handle it for me!
And listen real carefully when I introduce you to ‘em cause it goes down one of two ways…
Situation 1
Most of the time, I’m going to introduce my target first, and then her friends, because it’ll be easy then for the wing to start chatting it up with the last girl he said hi to.
This all happens when I’ve been in a set for a good while, and I’ve already introduced myself and I got names and I’m already chatting up with my target.
Or say I’ve been talking to a chick one-on-one and her friend(s) just appeared out of now where. That’s when I really need to distraction so step up. Wings, do me the favor and distract the obstacles and I’ll do the same for you at another time. Cockblock me… and well… paybacks are a bitch.
Situation 2
The exception to this is when it’s super early into the interaction. Or when there’s a super hottie and the rest of her friends are not so much. What’s happening there is I’m building into the group rapport before going to my target. 90% of time, it’s damn obvious who’s the hotty, and if I opened the set, that’s who I’m going for.
In that early situation I’m going to still be really playful so I may give the intros and point out the hot one.. and be like “watch out for this one… she’s kinda shy, or she’s bad, or whatever.” That’ll be my target because I’m playing off the intro to then ping her hard with a look and whatever.
Summarize this shit…
So… if I’ve been in the group for a while, and I’m introducing people by name and being chill… the first girl is my target. If it’s early, and crazy, pay attention.. I’ll say these girls are fun but this one… I… don’t … know.. about…yet. I’ll singling her out and hopefully soliciting a response from her or whoever. Play along.
…
That’s beginning winging. Good job, you get a gold star.
What about advanced winging, what else can we do?
okay, this takes trust and concentration. So if you can’t trust your wing or he can’t properly focus cause he’s had too much to drink/smoke/snort … the don’t try this.
Done properly, I should be able to mark my target (ID her to my win), switch with my wing so I can roll off my target for a bit and build a little rapport with her friends. In the meantime, my wing shall talk positive shit about it me within conversation… “he’s a great guy, blah blah. He and I always have a ton of fun” A sneakier way is to say shit like “we’re celebrating his new book deal, or his promotion at work or.. whatever”. Yes, getting your story’s right is a good idea at the beginning of the night.
Important: Wings will want to do this just one-on-one with the target in conversation, out of -my- ear shot. It should be delivered without my knowledge. It’s pretty powerful when done right because we’re naturally inclined to believe things other people tell us about people. Which is why visicious rumours can be visicious and unsubstantiated… because everyone believes them without real evidence.
Wings… just don’t praise me directly in front of my target. Because the dynamic then changes. She’ll wonder to who’s benefit is my wing saying that about me for? Her benefit or my benefit? Are you kissing my ass? or are you being a sarcastic asshole.. “he’s a great guy!!!” The best of intentions can come off as way awkward.
So the proper way is to say it out of earshot and within the flow of conversation.
After a little while, switch back…and she’ll be even more interested because SHE’ll KNOW something about ME… that she thinks I don’t know she just found out. Its like she’ll have a new filter of me and see me in slightly different light.
Doesn’t work so well… if my wing praised in front of the two of us. We’ll just end up talking about you, which will DHV the both of us…
BAD
WING: “Dude, you’re awesome guy!” or “He’s an awesome dude!”
ME: “Uh…thanks bro”
WING walks away…
HB: “Uh, what’s with your friend?”
ME: “I don’t know, he sweats me…”
HB: “It sounded like he was being a jerk.”
ME: “No he’s naturallly that enthusiastic.”
HB: “hmm..”…
GOOD
ME: “Oh hey this is my bro, love this kid. Dude, this is HB”
Walk over to chat it up with goofy obstacles…
HB: “Hi” (she’s thinking..wait..what just happened? why did he leave me?)
WING: “Hey, how’s it going! I see my buddy is having a good time with you guys.”
HB: “Yeah, he’s fun! Is he always like this?”
WING: ”Yeah, well, he works hard and plays hard. We’re actually celebrating his big contract he got awarded. He’s awesome guy. Saved my ass from a lot of binds.”
HB: “Wow” (god he’s so my type)
ME: “I’m back! Your friends a hilarious.”
WING: “Really? Let me say hi to them.”
WING rolls with the obstacles…
HB: (thank god you are back, I better not lose him again, we’re alone, this probably my only chance) “hey, your cute, what’s your number?”
ME: “hmm.. I don’t give my number to girls I never kissed before”
:)
mPUA Carlos Xuma breaks down very quickly expected stages of AFC to PUA. Well said. Knowing pitfalls is like practicing piano and not developing bad habits. Watch this.
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Not a bad day at all.Met up with my bro by Eastern Market which behind the Capitol. It’s basically a big old weekend market for all kinds of stuff. Art, furniture, clothing, fish, cheese, meat, and women.
1. On the way up, I saw chicks with puppies and dogs, one of them had a cute german shepard puppy. There’s no way I can walk away without messing with it. Next thing I know, I’m petting it and I’m having a short discussion about her dog. Nice girl.
2. I find the coffe shop and he’s already there, just chillin’. I go in to get my coffee and I get in line. It’s long, another blue eyed HB sits down with what looks like an iced coffee with no ice. She’s a few feet away from me. Anyway, I stand there racking my brain a little, and then duh… “hey that looks good, what kind of coffee is that?” Yeah.. my club game is ON!!!… ok no quiet. She smiles, says something that she works there, that it’s a special blend. “Oh, okay, so you got like a hook for coffee that’s not on the menu, I see, nice.” She laughs, keeps talking a little, nothing much beyond that.
3. I catch up with him about last night, go into details about day game and game in general and then without wasting too much time, we get up and start strolling the market. We walk up to the best hook of the day, it was a Russian HB7 that was tending to her uncles art stand. The photos her uncle made were really good and we kept teasing her as to whether her uncle given her any tricks of the trade regarding art. It’s hard to describe the vibe, because it was very casual, the photos were fantastic… there was one in particular of a cat that looked like it was just chillin on the street when her uncle kind of startled it and snapped a photo of it. It had this look like “wtf, why are you taking my picture? You want to get scratched??” She seemed to like that. I got her name, we ejected, maybe come back and say hi again if he doesn’t scoop her first.
One girl was looking at handbags, and I walked up and said, “what do you think about this pink one, do you think it’ll match my eyes?” …HB smiles, “I don’t know.” Okay, so I keep going, “So are these real Gucci or wahtever?” She’s like they’re knock offs.
4. I stroll around some more and I try to open a set of 4 indirectly by commenting on some other crap they were looking. My voice wasn’t loud enough, I didn’t get any reaction (ouch).
5. The second best hook came shortly there after, an indian girl that was trying some free hummus, and we kicked around which hummus was better. She definitely stayed in and wanted to keep talking but I ejected.
Observations:
Its a lot easier than I thought, as long as there’s a lot to talk about situationally.. and at a bustling market there definitely is. I’m really intrigued to get my day game going much more intensely. Thankfully between sets I had fellow PUA to critique and stay in state.
Pros:
Talked to everyone, strolled slowly, enjoyed the sights and sounds, low to no pressure from him and vise versa. We just had fun bullshitting with people. I ejected quickly by design, I didn’t want to have a NOT positive day in particular. I kept my outcome independant posture, so while I knew I had some key opportunities to escalate, I wanted to have a good vibe (ironically, or by design, hanging with the guy during the day is remarkably chill).
Cons:
Ejections. I could have stayed longer.
Voice still needs to be there strong.
No need for crazy WHOOO shit, just chill and enjoy.
Stats:
Day Game Approaches: 5!
Approaches: 5
Closes: 0
Not a bad day at all.
Alright so I decided at least for a while to start logging some of my approaches to see how I do. I don’t have a system beyond explaining each set (which can be time consuming) but I will try to tally up how many opens to how many “successes”. My SP is day game, don’t ask why, I have no idea why at this point.
We’ll see how it goes.
Stats:
Day Game Approaches: 0
Approaches: 5
Success: 1.5
David talks about body language. Roll those shoulders back, stick that chest out a bit, and stand tall. It’s all about the swagger in your walk and sly smile on your face.
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Cajun is absolutely smooth. Look at his body posture, look at his tone of voice, look at his smirk, look at how doesn’t care how they react and yet in complete control.This guy rocks.
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Mystery and MeHow killing it, AMOG just purely defused without much of a acknowledgment. Note also Mystery’s chick tries to shit-test him… a test that HE induces by asking “are you fucking with me?”Strong presence, smile, and slow body movement, that’s all it took. Mystery is also tilting his head slightly up away from here.He also helps handle the AMOG by telling him MeHow is a good guy.I don’t even think the guy shakes MeHow’s hand but note MeHow doesn’t care.$
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RockStarInLife reminds us to celebrate your breaks up!
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Lothario Rake instruction Part 2, shows in slow motion the card routine and gives a few ideas on how set it up.
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Lorthario Rake shows a couple a fun routines to do with this two part video.
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Robbie Williams tries to kiss a reporter. Note how he captivates her.
Tim from RSD on natural game. His premise is that you can get natural game by following one major rule. “You do not give a damn, about what anyone on this planet thinks of you.”
Funny Lynxx deodorant commercial. There’s a PUA consulting these for sure.
T is energetic PUA, probably why he’s infectiously good. Good instructional and he has a good point at the end. NO CRYING, NO WHINING!!
Super fast pick up and kiss close demonstration. It’s pretty remarkable actually but it does take taking a lot of frame control. Really good instructional.
Not bad. He’s spot on with negging and transitioning. Adam kinda talks fast, so I had to view this a couple of times (haha).
Dr. Paul, David DeAngelo’s friend talking about observing ego.
Follow Deline Around DC