Stop Being So Negative, It’s Not Attractive… at all.

Surprising to some, in pickup artist world, there’s orders of magnitude more discussions about inner game (things happening in your mind, how you perceive yourself and the situations around you), than there is about how to actually pickup chicks.   More so lately I sense, than ever before.

Why is that?  Probably due to the popularity of The Game and the Pickup Artist, it has brought this into more mainstream light and attracted guys to give this stuff a look, same guys that would have never done so on their own before, when the PUA game was more “underground” and hidden.

In large part, really good PUAs know that what you think of yourself, is going to largly affect how women perceive you.  Women tend to follow, or rather feel, what guys think.

And many of the guys that ask for my help and so forth, are obviously guys that have had trouble in the past with women.  Quite significant amount of them tend to be incredible intelligent guys that are very logical, very goal oriented, and very cynical, well beyond simply being skeptical.

These guys don’t come to the PUA world with open mindset, to try giving it a health chance.  They come with a critical mindset first, and if it makes sufficient sense, more so, if they can fit it into their perceptions of the greater world, they give it a shot.

They question everything down to the minutea, and they don’t believe it unless they see it themselves.  While I think its good to be skeptical, it’s not so good to be cynical. Cynical is a drag, it’s negativity for the sake of perceiving what is right.  As most things in life, you can dichotomies exist all around us.  In fact, in many ways, life IS one gigant absurdity, and it’s a collective percieved acceptance that makes life somewhat workable.

But I don’t want to get to existentialist.   The point is this…  focus on positive, and life will become more positive.  If you focus on the negative shit, life WILL become more negative.

There’s all kinds of books that make great leaps to the point that you can “manifest” things into being.  The Power of Now, The Secret, etc.  are all extending the basic concept that what you focus on, is what you’re going get back from you life.

It’s so simple, that for the greatest of cynics out there, this seems impossible, absurd, whatever.  Life is too real for some of you cynics to make these mumbojumbo leaps of faith.  But there’s nothing magical about it.

How you present yourself to life, is how life will reward or punish you for it.

Think of it this way…

If I go around bitching about everything. People around me that interact with me, will get to know me a tireless cynic. I will feel like I’m doing life a great thing by upending things around me, finding the minutia to bitch about, the more I look, it seems the more there is of it.

It makes me feel smart, empowered and validated for having I sleuthed out all blemishes and imperfections from people, things, efforts… as if someone was trying to hide them. I do this with to everyone around me.

Guess what happens…

Everyone around me starts to realize that all I do is complain and point out the errors of their ways… so they start to back away. Hiding genuine efforts from me, for the fear of being critisied mercilessly by me… which only feeds my thinking that I need to be ever more vigilante to people “hiding” things from me.. because they are.

I get further paranoid, I never let up, I end up alienating a great deal of people from my life, creating an ever lonier existance.

THAT SUCKS!!!

It’s a loop… the more one bitches, the more people will mistreat me, the more I feel like bitching is the only way to get respect.

Same works for people that are very needy. The needier they are, the more they alienate people, the more they become needier.

Stop the loop!  Change how you think, and life will change around you.

So back to women and pickup.  If you approach women with a cynical mindset, they will sense  your negativity and propel you away.  Negativity, in the from of cynicism is a big weakness.  It sends the signal that you are a man that is beholden to larger forces around you, not nearly as strong as a man that understands the forces around him, choses when to exert his influences on them or ignores those all together, especially those that don’t matter to him.   Those guys, have a rock solid core, and they’re usually very, happy about themselves.

That’s not to stick our heads in the sand, quite on the contrary, it’s all about acknowledging things for the way they are, ignoring in large part all the inconsequential shit, and standing up for the important shit, when it matters… and never losing your emotional control, in between.

Staying positive in the face of adversity is not easy to do.   Not even the best of the best PUAs can do this all the time, but that’s what it’s about.  It’s about stepping up and staying positive when challenged, and looking for the good in things and people, and disregarding the negativity for what it is, largely useless noise.

Work on your inner game, and the rest will more easily fall into place.